Moments Imagined Blog

This is a checklist of mistakes you can avoid when you are planning your wedding:

• Once you have firmed up the date, book the church or wedding site before your reception site.
• Be sure to read the church policy, which states what is and is not allowed.
• Get every detail in writing. That includes the expected delivery date of your gown and attendants’ dresses as well as written contracts with all vendors.
• And double or triple check on details for the reception, photography and flowers if you are not employing a wedding planner.
• If you are planning an interfaith marriage, be certain that the officiant of your choice will marry you.
• Avoid using very young children in any capacity unless you are willing to accept the unexpected. That adorable child can either complement your ceremony or cause such a commotion that guests remember the child’s behavior and not your lovely ceremony.
• If your attendants are to dress alike, be sure that ll of the dresses are ordered at the same time because dye lots vary.
• To share your happiness and good fortune, plan to donate leftover food from your reception to a food shelf or “community cafe” and your flowers to a nursing home or hospital.
• Ask a good friend or relative and her husband to be your official reception hosts. Parents get busy and so do you and your groom. With official hosts, you can be sure that all of your guests are attended to and made comfortable.
• This is the biggest party you are ever likely to give. With some strong pre-event planning it can go off without a hitch. Review your plans with an experienced wedding planner.

Some brides want to include children at their wedding ceremony and reception. If that is true for you, know that children can add an extra dimension to the festivities and can be a delight if you make plans to incorporate their interests. To do otherwise is courting chaos.

If you are planning to include children at your reception, be sure to let the parents know that children are invited and to do so, include their names on the inner envelopes of the invitation.

In fact, some brides send a special reception invitation to children.

To entertain the children, set up a special reception area. Include an arts and crafts room with crayons, markers, glitter and glue. Be sure to provide smocks or aprons to protect their clothing and hire a college student or young adult to supervise the activities. They could / should make cards for the bride and groom.

Plan a box lunch menu, which includes kid-friendly items. Suckers, anchored with pebbles in terracotta pots, make good centerpieces.

After the craft project and the food, provide a TV with age appropriate videos and/or hire a clown for entertainment. Parents may wish to include their children in a portion of the wedding dance segment. If this is an evening wedding with a dance, you may also wish to be sure the children’s area has cots or sleeping bags available for children who may be there through the evening hours.

Children can have a good time and free their parents to participate if you spend some time creating a special area and activities especially for them.

Now that you are engaged, stress can set in as you try to deal with the myriad of details that threaten to engulf you. You have a number of decisions to make about ceremony and reception locations, the date, what to wear, who to ask to be your attendants, whom to invite, what flowers, music and photographers to select. There are budget questions to solve. All these choices can generate a case of “wedding jitters”.

To relieve your stress or make it manageable, remember these key points:

• If the stress is generated by money issues, take the take, as a couple, to determine your priorities. List the tings that are the most important to you both. Determine the top five items from a list of 10 to 20. These five - listed in priority order, are the items on which you are least likely to compromise. Then, as you review your budget, you can “borrow” from the other items on your list to keep the budget in balance.
• If the stress is coming from family, be clear about the source and be firm about communicating your feelings. Talk out the issues you see with parents, friends and those involved. Be gracious but firm about expressing your views and concerns. Don’t just “stuff” the feelings so that they end up ruining a friendship.
• If the stress is coming from the crush of events and the sense of being overwhelmed by everything you sense must be done, the key is to SHARE the responsibilities. Hire a wedding planner :), enlist the groom, ask your parents to take over specific jobs. Get yourself a wedding planning book and be faithful in entering plans made and following its suggestions for organizing your projects.
• Get enough sleep, and take care of your health by eating well. Make good use of your gym membership and exercise away the stress.

When it all seems too much, speak with an experienced and trained consultant who can help you put it all in perspective and remind you of what is truly important in your wedding.